Many thing are racing right about now

Over the last matter of weeks things have not so much changed as they have made me really think.

First off, there's nothing like a pregnancy scare to really put things into perspective for you. Granted, when it first happened I was the FIRST person to jump all over the statement that I was absolutely 150% DONE having kids. But as the hours turned into days waiting, and the test came out negative, something inside of me said that I didn't think I should be done.

I know that God works in mysterious ways. I'll be the first to admit that. And right now, I feel like he's working in my life. My boys are anything but grown, but I feel like I have so much more to give. And yes, I gave a lot when I worked with babies, now that I'm home, I have a few from time to time. However they all go HOME at the end of the day, leaving me with that feeling.....

I finally fessed up and told Jason. And much to my surprise he wasn't angry or upset. More like taken by surprise. Needless to say it was an interesting conversation. He thought I was joking at first. No I'm not joking. At least I don't think I am. He said he was going to think about it over the weekend when he was in Arizona. I think i want to have another baby. But is that crazy? Me turning 33 this year, Jason being 32, my oldest is going to be 10, and the other one 7. Meaning I haven't DONE this...like for REAL done this in 7 years. And by my math, if and when we have this third kid, when he or she is 16, I'll be damn near 50. Can I HANDLE that? Or is it just a crazy pipe dream?

I just wish I had some input, other opinions. Without everything being spread all over this stupid little town.